Die Affäre
by K.Henderson
Summary: Part2 of The Story of You and Me. Elizabeta must choose between her marriage with Roderich or to be with Gilbert. As she uncovers the truth set before her will she have the strength to leave what she has always known for a life she may have always wanted?
1. Chapter 1

Die Affäre The Affair

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Roderich Edelstein usually woke up early in the morning to coffee on the veranda and french toast. His beautiful wife would smile lovingly at him from across the round glass table, dressed in nothing but one of his dress shirts that he had worn the night before and had tossed aside during one of the rare moments that they could have to lay with one another.

He never understood why Elizabeta liked to sleep naked beside him and why she insisted on wearing his shirts the next morning, it was probably a way to be closer to him. They hadn't been spending enough time together as they used to when they had first gotten married and now with his mother redecorating the house in order to move in with them, there was a significant strain between them. Elizabeta had made it clear how she felt about his mother moving into the house.

She had voiced it almost as loudly as when they argued about her job or her cooking or her choice in clothing and music. Sometimes it was like being married to the teenage girl he had fallen for; the same loud and boyish teenager that seemed to forget that she wasn't a male at all. And where he had loved that part of her the most back then, now that they had been married for so long it was easy to dispel the illusion of her. She was a police officer and worked long and dangerous hours. Roderich didn't approve because, in his opinion and in the opinion of his mother and aunts, it was not a woman's profession. But then he remembered why he disagreed with Elizabeta about it and he would apologize and decide not to listen to his mother so much until the next time Elizabeta worked late and came home smelling of coffee, sweat and her partner Sadiq's strong aftershave.

It was probably the aftershave that did him in and made him succumb to his mother's insistence that Elizabeta quit and become a stay at home wife. After all, she was married to an Edelstein. The Edelstein family was very well off and any wife of Roderich's would not need to ever lift a finger to work. And boy, had Elizabeta let him have it. Shouting matches would turn into all out brawls of kitchenware and Lord help Roderich if Elizabeta was in the possession of a frying pan!

He smiled to himself in remembrance of a particularly horrendous encounter with their Danish neighbors borrowed axe-Mathias Køhler* had never quite warmed up to Roderich after that having witnessed Elizabeta with it although he seemed in high spirits whenever he saw Elizabeta and commented loudly enough for Roderich and his mother to hear that; _"Skønhed* in denim and a workman's shirt-I say its better then having to wear dresses all of the time like some stuffy ol' lady."_

Roderich's smile dropped. He stared out, passed the veranda at the garden. His stomach growled, his mouth tasted like stale coffee and cigarettes and his clothes were stiff and drenched in rain water. He had been worried about Elizabeta since the morning before when he had woken to a cold and empty bed.

_'Well man, what do you expect? All you do is yell yell yell yell yell-all the time.'_ Sadiq had said over the phone-the first person Roderich had called with the purpose of finding his wife. The Turkish thirty something year old hadn't been too happy with receiving a call so early in the morning from Roderich, who was definitely not his favorite person in the world. Not like it made a difference to Roderich about Sadiq.

Sadiq didn't really like anyone.

"She's told you about our marriage?" He could almost feel Sadiq smile into the phone.

_'Well no, she didn't tell me directly. Came right out of Baghatur's* mouth.'_ Sadiq said with a pause before speaking again only this time his amused voice had thinned incredibly and sounded icy. _'You don't go looking for Eli now, you hear me Roddy. I don't care that about your problems with eachother.'_

-But Sadiq had cared even if he was usually annoyed by Elizabeta. He had cared enough to tell Roderich to leave her alone and to let her sort out her thoughts, whatever that had meant. If Roderich knew this Baghatur, then he would have asked him where Elizabeta had run off to.

He had to know where she was. If she was safe.

If she was coming back.

The day before, after that phone call, had been spent alone. He sat there at the round glass table that she had brought from her grandmother's house after they had gotten married-the table where they had their summer breakfasts every morning thereafter. His hands splayed on the cold glass, long and thin fingers stretched apart as far as they could be, absorbing droplets left behind from the earlier rain. All day yesterday, all night last night and Roderich understood.

He knew that there was a name for this, a name for what he was going through _exactly_. Karma. This was his karma for what he had and had not done. The sting of his betrayal hot on his lies had come back to take her away. Not that Elizabeta knew anything about it Roderich had been careful. But he knew when he was being punished and this was it. The punishment that he so righteously deserved. The fights, the strain had all begun with his lies, his need to trap her and keep her with him always. Away from Gilbert.

Roderich scowled. Gilbert Beilschmidt. His cousin and the bane of his existence. The stupid, obnoxious, innocent, naive and lovable oaf of a man lumbering with thinly muscled arms and long legs. Laughing with a wide crooked mouth at anything and nothing incredibly entertaining. Eyes like a white rabbits and hair the color of round full moon almost white-well, that was how Roderich had remembered him. He hadn't seen Gilbert or Ludwig in ten years.

Why was Roderich jealous of the memory of this boy?

He shut his eyes and sighed deeply and recalled a near distant memory of one year ago. Ivan Braginski's phone call.

General Winter had died and the old man had left Elizabeta a pretty "penny" or what Ivan called _candies and affection for the grand daughter he never had_. Old Mr. Braginski, as he was actually called had loved her and it hurt Roderich that he had to lie to Ivan. He told the Russian that Elizabeta was sorry for the loss but she had to work on the eve of the funeral and could not make it. The conversation had gone on for a half an hour after that with _"да" _here and then and a _"visit up soon, мой друг. Elizabeta should have some time off to see old friends."_

Of course Roderich had never told Elizabeta about Mr. Braginski's passing or about Ivan's open invitation for them to visit partially because he knew that Gilbert was still in Stadt and because it sounded like Ivan knew what he was doing.

Roderich cursed himself. Of course Ivan knew what Roderich was doing! Even when they were small children together in grade school Ivan Braginski always seemed to know things that he shouldn't always seemed to realize the worse of people when there was never any indication that the worse was possible. It was the damn Russian's gift to know these things and of course he was taunting him with the knoleged that he knew Roderich's dirty little secret.

"I'm being foolish." Roderich thought. He had not seen Ivan in ten years and before that the two were not incredibly close. There was no way that Ivan would know something like that. Roderich was just being paranoid. "That is all that it is. Paranoia."

When Elizabeta came home Roderich would talk to her, apologize for his behavior in the way he was talking at her. He would fix this, they would go back to their lives and maybe, God in heaven, they would finally have a baby.

His hand turned to a tight and painful fist. He had almost forgotten the topic of their most volatile and hateful fights had caused. Elizabeta didn't want to have children. Roderich wanted them, had wanted them right after they had been married same as Roderich's mother. He couldn't understand why she didn't want children with him. Was it such a heinous thought?

"Maybe this is the reason she left. To sort out her thought about having a baby." He said to himself praying that he was right as it began to rain on him again.

* * *

She breathed him in. The cologne he had worn earlier had faded but Elizabeta swore that she could smell him on her body in her hair. She wondered when she would get tired of it if she ever would and didn't think it would be possible. It was intoxicating and exhilarating all at the same time. It made her breathless and she found herself comparing Gilbert to Roderich yet again.

Roderich always smelled flowery. He had smelled like the roses in the music room, the hyacinth tucked away in their garden and of the orchids he always bought her. Always on Sundays, put in her favorite metal vase and set on the round glass table right before breakfast time. Roderich had always smelled sickeningly sweet and safe and she wondered, when had she gotten so tired of that smell?

Gilbert smelled like motor oil and musk.

Smelling him, Elizabeta was transported somewhere else where the comforts of flowers were left behind. If Elizabeta could describe Gilbert's scent she would compare it to the wind. Gilbert smelled like the warm summer breeze she had longed for since she left Stadt ten years before like the summers of her childhood left behind in shrouded monotony of her boring marriage.

* * *

-Mathias Køhler is obviously Denmark. Mathias Køhler is his fanon name.  
-Skønhed means Beauty  
-Baghatur is Turkish Republic of Northern Cyprus. The name Baghatur is an Old Turkish word meaning warrior. This was the name of several historical figures, such as Baghatur Khagan of the Khazars, and two rulers of the Mughal Empire.  
да is yes  
мой друг is my friend

HELLO! I hope you like chapter 1 of The Affair. I have never ever written Roderich before so I took some...liberties with his personality. I don't think he came out entirely out of character given the situation going on but he isn't exactly the same. But...this is Roderich Edelstein and not Austria so I think its okay, right? I wanted to write this first character with Roderich because I wanted it over all understood that he's not malicious, just a jealous mama's boy. A lot of guys fall into categories like that and I'm here to say that with confidence the women that they love wont leave them if they're up front. Roddy should have realized that but then there would be no story.  
I think my favorite part was talking about their scents. Okay, I know the part about motor oil and musk probably sounds gross but it's not-I promise no one smells bad here. You just have to imagine summer outside, wind basically Roderich smells like flowers in nature the beautiful scent from kept gardens while Gilbert is wild in his scent, heady and wild. He's the warmth carried in the wind. You get it? He;s wild and unkempt compared to Roddy's garden?

Well anyway, this took me a while to write, I'm going to start on chapter two real soon so keep a look out. Please don't flame and I hope you like it! It's been a while since I've written so this might be horrible (then again the part one to this was written horrible too...) but give it a chance. I hope you like it!

-Kale


	2. Chapter 2

**Die Affäre **

**The Affair**

**~.~.~**

* * *

The phone rings.

Once.

Twice.

The sound dies out.

A distant echo.

The rain hits the window, pattering droplets. It sounds almost rhythmic, it sounds almost soothing. Gilbert turns on his side. His right eye opens to a bleary red slit, closes and then both eyes open. He stares at the slumbering form, the woman. Brown waving hair a tangled curled mess, drool at the corner of her lips. Her cheeks are stained pink, flushed and he is reminded of rosebuds like...

A memory engulfs him and suddenly he's a boy again. He lets himself remember because...because it is his fondest memory of her.

His eyes close.

He sees it.

The bright sun peeks through the leafy trees. Summer is in full swing, the damp heat beating down heavily upon the sleepy town of Stadt. All colors seem brighter in summer always and when Gilbert recalls that particular day he realizes that it is near shinning.

She's running in front of him. She's laughing wildly and all he can see is her wavy hair tied in a very loose ponytail bobbing with every leaping step and the back of her red t-shirt, the back of her jean shorts and her sandaled feet.

They'd decided to go fishing that day. He remembered how much Ludwig had wanted to go fishing.

_'Dad wasn't home, Dad was out at the bar it was a good day. Maybe,'_ Young Gilbert thought,_ 'maybe we can just fish all day and sleep out here all night? Wouldn't that be awesome?'_

Ludwig was running a little bit ahead. His blond hair glittering in the sun, his black tank shirt looked like coal-it was his, Gilbert remembered. He'd given it to Ludwig._ 'A shirt just to play with, to be awesome in!_' He remembered saying.

Ludwig was laughing like he had never laughed before, not before they'd met Beta. Oh how happy Ludwig had suddenly become how happy she had made them. Because Young Gilbert had known from the beginning, Older Gilbert had to agree that...he had loved her outright from the get go.

From the very core of himself.

The gravel underfoot, the twigs snapping beneath their feet as they ran through the woods, the sun beating down heavily from above in the cloudless blue sky. They three, running with tackle box and rods, bait in a bucket-filthy wet worms in bits of dirt.

Beta, little Beta turned her face to him as she ran and smiled, smiled so brightly, the smile that ingrained itself in Gilbert forever. Wide and becoming, soothing and wild and loving. Just like the tea roses tucked into her hair, the roses they'd passed from the bush in Mr. Bonnefoy's yard. The roses that Ludwig had do painstakingly placed in her hair like a flowery crown to the fairy queen.

Their Queen.

She turned back, stared in the direction they were headed, Ludwig breaking into a quick run as they neared the glittering lake. Suddenly Young Gilbert came to a stop. _'Tread lightly'_, he remembered, _'tread lightly down the hill to the lake or you will fall.'_ His mother had told him that a summer years before when Dad was still happy.

He walked slowly down the shallow hill. Bucket in hand, careful to watch his step. He looked up, the lake was blue green like always and shimmering. He could see the light ripple, the tadpoles beneath the water milling about moving and the fish were nipping. He could almost see their silvery scales if he squinted hard enough.

Beta was ankle deep, barefoot in the water, her line already cast. Ludwig was much the same only he sat a few feet away on a bench. Young Gilbert shrugged his shoulders deciding to make his way closer to them, to tease Beta like he always did when it happened. That one miraculous moment where he felt so happy to be alive.

The wind blew harshly and so suddenly that Beta's hair tie came loose and fell away. Long rippling brown hair was caught in the breeze. She laughed, Ludwig laughed.

"Gilbert!" She turned to him with a bright smile, the one he loved. Her cheeks stained the same color of the roses in her hair. "Look! They don't want to come out! Isn't that great? Ludwig got them stuck in there I bet they'll never come off! I love them!"

And then, as Young Gilbert stared at her, this wild little girl with pink flowers in her hair with shimmering large green eyes, he smiled.

He smiled so hard, so widely that his face hurt and then he laughed. He laughed with them and reveled in the moment when all she saw was him.

Gilbert drifted from the memory and returned to the present. Scooting closer to Elizabeta, Gilbert wrapped his warm strong arms around her and held her to him. Her bare body felt cold against him for a moment before she warmed and snuggled against him. Her head resting at the crook of his neck and shoulder.

She sighed.

His arms wound tighter around her.

His eyes closed, suddenly they burned his eyes hurt.

Why...why God why did he suddenly feel so sad?

His chest ached. What was this? Why?

He knew, suddenly he knew why he had begun to hurt, why he had been pulled out from his joyous feelings. Roderich didn't deserve this. His cousin, his blood, did not deserve this betrayal. Elizabeta didn't deserve it either.

_'Why God, why must I suddenly feel this guilt? Why?'_ Gilbert thought as he disentangled himself from Elizabeta. He sat at the edge of the bed. He rubbed his eyes with the heels of his palms.

"Damn it all, why now?"

He stood, pulled on a pair of flannel pajama bottoms, stretched and grimaced. The guilt.

He covered her body with his thin sheet taking care not to wake her. He bent over he sleeping form and kissed the corner of her mouth.

He walked out of the room, down the steps into the foyer. He made his way to the large picture screen window and stared out into the dreary sky.

_'Gilbert! Look! They don't want to come out! Isn't that great? Ludwig got them stuck in there I bet they'll never come off! I love them!'_

He closed his eyes, shutting them tightly.

_Please God, please...just this once please...please._

but for what ever it was he was praying for...Gilbert didn't know except that he never wanted the day to end.

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~.~.~

* * *

**It started out so happy and then so sad. Sorry about taking FOREVER its just that...this story is incredibly difficult to write and well, it needs a particular mood a sort of sad mood a bittersweet mood.**

**Poor Gilbert. Poor poor Gilbert. He's really just a big ol' softy on the inside isn't he. For all his brash behavior he's just a loving sensitive guy.**

**I wish I had a Gilbert.**

**Read and Review please. I hope this chapter didn't disappoint any of you.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Die Affäre**

**The Affair**

**~.~.~**

* * *

The act of loving her was hard and yet so simple that Ludwig simply gave himself up to the feeling and immersed himself in it. Often times, he wondered about his brother and lamented greatly at the loss Gilbert must be feeling. To be in love and have that love unquenched and taken away before sweet confession, how could someone live that way?

From the opening of the bedroom he stood silently leaning against the wooden door frame. His powerful arms crossed and a smile gently touched the corners of his mouth lifting them. _The girls_, he thought, _my girls_.

Three daughters, curled blond hair and sweet faces, his angels. Ludwig wondered how it came that his daughters were such a perfect blend of himself and Felicia, they were so perfect. When he wondered about his girls and his wife he began to remember his father and his mother and then new questions came. Why did his mother leave? When had their marriage become so unhappy? Why did his father beat only Ludwig? How could his mother be so cruel as to leave and never send word to her children?

The image of his mother the day she left haunted him. Her short curly blond hair swaying in light spring breeze as she walked down the drive way and down the street. Her pale pink coat swaying, her hands heavy, a suitcase held in each and the sound of her heeled shoes hitting the pavement. He remember calling out to her as she left and louder his cries when she climbed into the car down the street. He had been inconsolable after the car pulled off and became smaller, slighter in his vision and Gilbert just stood here, his face turned away staring into the mouth of the house at their father who had burried his head in his hands and wept.

It all seemed sad back then, so terribly sad and yet there was something to that moment that Ludwig had missed. He'd been young when his mother left, and had only remembered the best about her and the worst of his father. But, thinking back on the moments that mattered that truly meant anything the moments spent with her alone and suddenly...

He loved his daughters with all of his heart, loved Felicia and knew that he would die without them, without her and from the moment he met his wife he'd known that unmistakable pull at his heartstrings, to be with her always, never let go. When the girls had been born it only made his love grow stronger until there was no doubt that this is where he needed to be, this father was who he was meant to be since the beginning and everything else had become nothing. The pain he had felt back then as a child vanished because now he was a father now he was a husband. The bad times had truly ended.

But, when he remembered the day his mother left it often left him with an empty feeling in the pit of his stomach and an ache in his heart, he couldn't quite understand how someone could leave their family and move on.

Then he wondered about his brother. Poor Gilbert shouldered all of the responsibility, had raised Ludwig as best he could and even to the extent of their father. He had taken the beatings and the sadness, the days when mother was so missed the most he brought joy and smiles and a little bit of mischief. Sometimes their father would laugh, Ludwig remembered, sometimes Father would laugh and the monster would be gone. Sometimes he would go days and days without drinking because Gilbert would bring out the best in him for a moment.

Was it too much to ask for Gilbert to be happy? Was it too much to pray for, that Gilbert who had never asked for a single thing, to find joy in his heart and love? Was it too much to ask for Elizabeta to come back?

He imaged his brother and the life he should have had. Gilbert would have eventually married Elizabeta and they would fight but all the fighting was playing and all the playing meant they loved each other, Ludwig knew, and the children they would have had. Another perfect blending of their parents. Gilbert would be happy, would never have to know a lonely day and Elizabeta would be with them.

But things had not turned out the way Ludwig would have wanted them to, no, Roderich had become selfish and had taken her away and had lied to her presumably. Unless Elizabeta just did not want to be bothered with them which Ludwig doubted. His closed his tired blue eyes, feeling the sting of tears. Again the vision of his mother's back as she left them, the sound of his father's sobbing and their comforting weight of his brother hand on his small shoulder. What could it mean, Gilbert looking away? His mother, that day had spoken to Gilbert in hushed tones, just before she left. What was it about? Ludwig didn't dare ask.

What did it all mean?

He eased himself from the door frame and closed the door on his sleeping angels. Turning, he slowly walked down the hall and into the opened bedroom. Felicia was sitting at the dresser brushing her beautiful dark hair. He watched her as she did this, the thick brass handle held in her tiny hand, the brush untangling her hair. Her face calm and serene, doe eyes focused on the picture taped to the corner of the mirror, the girls.

She had to know that he was there, she didn't move as he walked against the carpeted floor towards her until he stood directly behind her. His hands came up and rested on her shoulders, her hand left the brush on the dresser and came to rest on his hand taking it and placing his palm at her cheek which she kissed. She stood, lavender night dresses swaying slightly at the movement, and she placed herself flush against him. He held her tightly.

How could anyone walk away from this?

He banished the thought, of his mother and Elizabeta and of his father. But Gilbert remained prominent, the memory of that day remaining. What had she said to Gilbert? Why had she left.

And a smaller voice sounded in the back of Ludwig's mind, his own childlike voice.

_Why didn't she take us?_

He decided that tomorrow he would pay his brother dear a visit.

* * *

**I know everyone wanted more Lizzie and Gilbo but I wanted to introduce Luddy and Feli. This story isn't going to be a quick paced at the other one and Ludwig needed to be introduced due to the plot of the story. As you all remember from "The Story of You and Me" there is mention that Gilbert and Ludwig's father became a drunk after their mother left. This is Ludwig's recollection of that day, also its a big part of this story too. I hope you like my Ludwig, I've never really written him before so I was nervous. Anywho please give me some thoughts on Ludwig or on the story in general. It takes me a while to update this story because there needs to be a certain mood for it. Found a good soundtrack so hopefully that'll speed up the process. No flames please. Hope you like the newest chapter!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Die Affäre**

**The Affair**

**~.~.~**

* * *

Gilbert could scarcely believe the time, the large neon numbers blinking up at him as he sat and stared at his screaming alarm clock on his crooked nightstand. Gilbert Beilschmidt, for the first time in seven years, did not want to go to work. It seemed suddenly unreal. He loved his work, enjoyed every moment in the old shop where he wasn't forced to think about his brother's ever growing family and how his life seemed to pass him by and that Roderich had won and that Gilbert would never get the girl-

From besides him, Elizabeta made a small sound, something that hardly constituted as a snore. Her brown eyebrows furrowed as Kansas continued playing over the alarm. Gilbert pulled the extension out of the wall cutting off the music, delighting in the fact that the evil bright green 6:00 AM had vanished. Elizabeta settled at his side with a throaty sigh and Gilbert, compelled by her warmth, searched his discarded jeans for his phone, fumbling only slightly as he found it. He dialed Antonio and told him to open without him.

"Are you sure, amigo?" Antonio's lightly accented voice broke off in a long yawn and Gilbert could only imagine that his poor friend was trying and failing to wake up much as he always did. Antonio had once been the sort of individual to wake up with the sun. These days however, left the poor man craving extra sleep as the duress of his home life crumbled around him-widowed and left a single parent. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah." Gilbert answered with a whisper. "I'm...gonna leave the shop up to you for a few days. That alright with you?"

"Gilbert, amigo, I am more than capable of handling the shop myself. Besides, I see this as an incentive to you giving me a very well deserved raise."

"I was gonna give you a raise anyway..." Gilbert trailed off, his rosy colored eyes trained on the window, a dotting of drops hitting the glass indicating a light spring of rain leaving with, what he hoped, the promise of a cool day. He wanted to open the windows maybe the french doors that led out into the backyard where he and Elizabeta might have their lunch. "But sure, more incentive to give you a raise. Tonio?"

"Yes?"

"If I told you someone was here with me, someone that I really really should not be with but couldn't help but be with...what would you say?"

There was a moment where Gilbert turned his head, staring at Elizabeta's still form. He stood up, and only shivering slightly as he was still only in his cotton bottoms, he left the room. He could hear Antonio getting up now, probably sitting up on his bed trying to be quiet because the girls were probably sleeping beside him, still not used Bella being gone. Gilbert walked down the wood paneled hall and down the stairs, nearly tripping at the landing in his haste to get as far away from Elizabeta as possibly trying not to wake her.

He walked into the front room where the piano sat. He stared at the pictures of his Ludwig and Felicia and their daughters, all angels who looked like Ludwig so much that it hurt. Gilbert's angels the children of his most beloved brother.

"Elizabeta is there with you, isn't she?"

He could hear Antonio's answer in his tone alone. The voice of reason, the one who held morality in its highest regard of the three of them-the Bad Touch Trio as they had been known in school. Antonio would be the one to set it all out there, straight to the point with his voice alone with the judgement that Gilbert would no allow himself to feel. Not because he knew and thought Gilbert wrong but because he was also or had been also a friend of sorts to Roderich.

"I'm going to hell, aren't I?" Gilbert asked drained of hope that he could ignore his own morals for a moment of happiness. "I"m so horribly wrong wanting this and having it. C'mon Tonio, you can say it. I know you want to."

"Well if you know you're wrong and that I think your wrong then I have nothing to tell you except, maybe, hell is a bit much. Don't throw yourself in the pit before you can see the outcome, is what I want to say. Now, amigo, I want you to promise me one thing."

"Anything." Gilbert said, and meant it for once.

"I want you to be honest with her about everything. Don't lie to her don't try to persuade her to stay and above everything else, do not persuade her to leave. Let it be her decision this way, no one is to blame. Not even you."

Gilbert _hmmed_ in affirmation that he had heard and agreed, surprised only slightly that Antonio was able to be this wise when usually he was so dense-and widely known for that fact alone. It seemed sound this idea of blatant honesty with her. If he allowed Elizabeta to take the reigns in whatever this was between them, an affair and tryst or a mistake, then the blame would be none his nor hers. It would have been a thing that happened that neither were able to control. If she stayed then it would be because she wanted him and if she left, it would be an affirmation that she had and would be with Roderich and that, now, curiosity sated, would never again seek reassurance for the fact that she belonged with her husband.

The only to be hurt, if she went back to Roderich, would be Gilbert and he would take the hurt if it meant that the moments with her were real at all. Hell, he might finally move on to better pastures and meet a woman who was sure in her want for him rather then waiting ten years into a marriage until she finally realized she might want him.

"Did you tell Francis yet?" Antonio asked fully awake and by the sound of it, making breakfast. There was a muffled moment where he must have been setting the phone against his cheek and shoulder because Gilbert could hear the rustling of fabric and a grunt. "He would be happy to hear about all of the details. You know him."

"Yeah, yeah, I know him. I would have called him and you yesterday when I met up with her but you had the unlucky draw of carpool for your girls softball team and Francis had that meeting to deal with, you know? I didn't want to bother either of you." It was a half truth. Antonio could have dealt with talking to Gilbert about Elizabeta being there and sleeping with her while juggling picking up the girls team mates and dropping them off-he was just good that way, multitasking like a pro like Bella was a pro at it before she got sick. He wondered, had Antonio married Felicia's sister, would she have been that patient with children, house works, and juggling the multitude of responsibility that wedded bliss would bestow. Gilbert wasn't sure of that, though he suspected that Antonio would have happily made time for Gilbert and his problems involving Elizabeta and Roderich.

Francis though, Francis was always busy after he'd graduated college he'd started working for his maternal Grandfather's company in California, so he'd had to move. Then there was the marriage-some starlet whose five minutes to shine was partly due to her marriage to the former teen model and heir to the largest pharmaceutical conglomerate in the world. Of course that had ended in divorce two years and one child later. Recently, Francis had inherited the company after his grandfather had died and was now the CEO of Morland Pharmaceutics. This left him with no time for friends and hardly any time for his own son. Gilbert, having been there for Francis as much as he could manage since the divorce knew more than anyone that Francis' time was precious and felt that, even if Gilbert's own problems had to do with the very real affair he was having with Elizabeta would not be enough of a reason to bother him.

Of course, once Francis heard about it from Antonio (who checked in on Francis at least twice a week) he would show up on Gilbert's doorstep with a scowl and a bottle of wine and demand to know everything that had gone on... especially the intimate parts.

"You know what. I'm gonna call him." Gilbert said. "Leave him a message, give him the rundown and see what he thinks when he can manage to think about it."

"Si. That's a good idea."

The lines disconnected with a 'see ya soon.' Gilbert placed the phone on the polished wood right beside a picture of himself and Ludwig taken just before the wedding. His brother had never seemed quite so sure of himself, Gilbert remembers clearly the way Ludwig stood tall and stern as ever yet, there had been an air of calm about him a serenity. Gilbert himself had been worried sick the entire time as he stood beside his brother at the alter waiting for the moment for the guests to fill in and for the music to start and he recalls how much his hand had run through his hair causing more of a mess to it than usual.

The moment Felicia walked through the heavy gilded doors, smiling nervously behind her veil as her grandfather walked beside her...Gilbert didn't think he could forget that moment and knew that, for the first time in his life, that he could admit to being lonely. It had been a day that Ludwig had truly proven that one could move passed the particular pains he had dealt with in the past to go forward and be happy. Gilbert had never wished for his brother's life quite so hard until that moment. Of course, the bride would not have been Felicia.

He closed his eyes and imagined how life could have been had Gilbert himself been honest with his feelings from the beginning. He had always loved Elizabeta and in a way he was certain that she would have loved him too if only he allowed the affirmation, had given her the chance to know.

Gilbert's heart hurt to think about what he was doing. Sleeping with Elizabeta, a married woman who belonged with his cousin...what kind of man did that make him? What kind of sick individual betrays their own blood? Could he be forgiven if he turns her away or would, perhaps, make it worse? He would lose her and at this point, Gilbert was certain that this time it would kill him. Knowing what he could have had and to just turn it away -to turn her away- was unimaginable.

So did that mean he should do as Antonio instructed, and let her take the reins in whatever this was between them?

"Fuck." He turned from the piano, casting his eyes on the wooden floor and staring at his feet. It was too early for misery. He walked towards the kitchen slowly, wondering what he should make instead of what he had done. Later, he thought, later he would think on it.

He settled for pancakes, making an impossibly tall tower of them. A smile touched his lips, a wicked smirk when he thought of Matthew and of the maple syrup he'd borrowed with no intention of ever returning. Gilbert's abused neighbor constantly found himself without his beloved syrup though, and Gilbert was totally certain of this, Matthew didn't really seem to mind.

Gilbert had begun fighting with his ancient coffee maker when he felt smooth small hands trace his back, lips, a feathery touch between his shoulder blades. Elizabeta hugged him from behind and seemed to scent him, leaning forward and just inhaling.

"I aint a dog." He gruffly said. He turned around, leaning against the counter, careful to not lean to close to the coffee pot which sputtered behind him. "Morning." He grinned down at her dipping his head to give her a long languid kiss which she returned in earnest. "Sleep well, Beta?"

"Like the dead." Elizabeta leaned into him with a smile. "Are those pancakes?"

"Yep."

"Wonderful!" She pushed back and with a clap, Elizabeta served herself a liberal amount (five to a stack, she was starving) and added quit a bit of the syrup that Gilbert set on the kitchen table. "Its been so long since I've had pancakes!"

"Eat up." Gilbert turned back to the coffee maker suddenly feeling light. Her brown hair was a tangled mess and her lipstick was smudged, clinging to the lines of her lips. Elizabeta was a mess and didn't seem to mind the fact that she was wearing on of his discarded shirts. Somehow, the sight of her that way set Gilbert at ease. She looked so comfortable like that around him she looked like...

Mine, he thought with a sudden ferocity that left him breathless. He stalked towards her, pushed back her chair and lifted her before she could make a sound, and kissed her hard. It amazed Gilbert at how pliant she became in his embrace how thirsty she was for intimate contact. He wonder if Roderich had been ignoring her leaving her without-

-No, don't think about that, not now!

His mouth found her neck and, hastily, he marked her and she mewled against him, tilting her neck as to offer him more of her.

"Gil!"

It was so perfect, the way her legs wrapped around him, the way her hands tugged at his hair making him moan, it was so perfect that of course everything had to go wrong.

"What the hell...!?"

They froze, the voice at the back door (located in the kitchen rather unfortunately) had caused the entire atmosphere to dissipate though, in retrospect, Gilbert was grateful that the interruption had happened before what would have been amazing kitchen sex. He had no intention of humiliating Elizabeta by having his brother, of all people, see her naked beneath him on the tiled floor.

"West...Guten Morgen."

"Ludwig!" Elizabeta scrambled to her feel and hid behind Gilbert, trying to hide her legs from Ludwig's view by pulling on the hem of the shirt she wore. Her face was impossibly red and her green eyes large. She was shamefaced, humiliated and Gilbert...had never thought of her as so cute before. "I-its good to see you." She said for lack of anything else to say.

"Ja. I supposed it is good to see you. Here. After ten years." Ludwig pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes closed tightly. "So, you have obviously been well, as I can see. How is Roderich? Not married with you anymore?"

When she didn't answer Ludwig chanced opening his eyes and, instead of glaring, plopped down at the kitchen table and began eating Elizabeta's stack of pancakes. He seemed altogether resigned about the situation, perhaps having seen it coming. "Ivan said this would happen." Or maybe the Commie bastard Russian had spilled the beans. The gossip. "Though he said at most you would kiss. I did not think I would see this!" He gestured to them both. "Mein Gott..."

"We didn't plan for this to happen!" Elizabeta shouted at Ludwig, who flushed brightly as she stepped away from Gilbert's back. "I mean, it did happen but it isn't as though I came here looking to sleep with Gilbert."

"Ja. Ja, I know this." Ludwig said. "Coffee would be wonderful, if neither of you would mind serving me."

"O-of course!" Elizabeta went for the task, her back turned unable to see the look that younger brother gave to older brother, something a cross between relief and exasperation. Ashe placed the mug in front of Ludwig and then hurried out of the kitchen to change and to leave her embarrassment behind for the moment.

"Gilbert."

"West."

"...what were you thinking?" Ludwig asked taking a sip of sweetened hazelnut coffee, not his favorite but it would do. He leveled Gilbert with a critical eyes. "I'm waiting."

"I was thinking that," Gilbert squared his shoulders. "I love her. I love her and I want to be with her."

"But Roderich-"

"Fuck Roderich!" Gilbert nearly shouted. He lowered his voice and sat in front of his brother with a groan. How to explain? "Okay, yes, I realize this is bad. Really bad but damn it man, you know how much I care for her."

"Ja."

"I want her to choose on her own terms, whatever this is right now, how it goes on or ends is all her. I'm not actively going to fight for her to choose." He rubbed his tired eyes with his fingers trying to find the right words. "If she wants me she can have me but, if she wants back with him then who the hell am I to stop her? Damn it...this is so not awesome I should like a tool!"

"I see. "Ludwig nodded as though he seriously weighed the options though the lift to his lips made it seem like he was humoring his brother who amused him with his flustered words. Ludwig set his mug down as gave Gilbert a rare but warm smile that promised no argument on the matter at all. "If that is what you want then who am I to stop you." He stood up and made for the back door, opening it and leaning against the frame. "I came to ask you about Mutter."

"Mutter?"

"Ja. But later, when you have time to talk. I want to know something."

Ludwig was gone before Gilbert could ask what it was he'd wanted to know.

"Weird." Gilbert said to himself as he stood up, locked the back door and made his way back up to the bedroom where a very embarrassed and confused woman waited for him. He told himself again, as he found her sitting on his bed, that he would not fight for her. He knew it was wrong, that what they were doing was wrong, but there was something there between them that was not just one sided.

As Gilbert took Elizabeta in his arms he realized that while he might become the loser in the situation that at least he knew she felt something and of course, at least he knew that if she left him, that while heart broken at least he would have the satisfaction of knowing he had tried.

_God forgive me_, he thought as she kissed him.

_Roderich, I'm sorry._

He held close to his cousin's wife, the woman he had always loved and, as he shut his eyes the image he'd seen the day of his brother's wedding flooded his thoughts. In Ludwig's place Gilbert stood, and walking towards him dressed in white wearing a delighted smile, was the woman he held in his arms.

A fantasy, yes, he knew, but no matter what he would hope and wish that one day it would really happen for them.

He prayed for it and nothing more as the guilt weighed heavily in his heart.

_Roderich, forgive me. _

* * *

**_~.~.~_**

**_Muse: So, uh, yeah not the best but hey! An update! Hope you liked it. I know it followed a really different pace than the others, which seemed more dreamy than anything, but I wanted it to seem a bit more solid this time now that its becoming more real for Gilbert. _**

**_Oh and Antonio's dead wife? Belgium. But don't worry Spamano's, Lovina isn't out of the running for Tonio's heart, in fact, other characters will be introduced pretty soon along with...the dreaded Mother of Gil and Luddy (flashbacks for sure)._**

**_And of course, we get to see how Roddy's doing. Anywho, hope you liked it! Review please!_**


	5. Chapter 5

**Die Affäre**

**The Affair**

**~.~.~**

* * *

She liked it most when he kissed her like this, warm lips on her cheeks, neck than joining her lips softly and sweetly. Gilbert kissed Elizabeta as easily as it was to breathe and she wondered if he'd ever kissed anyone else this way. Naked in bed, rain pouring outside connected only this way, through kisses and tender caresses. He'd proven he could be just as sweet and gently a lover as Roderich, but his gentleness didn't leave her behind like her husband often did.

It left her breathless, sated and above all, grounded to the here and now leaving no room for other thoughts to enter her head. She didn't think of her job or her partner Sadiq and his whimsical tales of wisdom and loyalty. She didn't think of Baghatur's warning about Roderich's mother- about the baby Roderich's mother wanted her to have to desperately. She didn't think about her ancient grandmother, alone in Stadt waiting for her grand daughter to have some grace and call.

She didn't think at all when Gilbert touched her this way, that surpassed the physicality of the intimacy and landed somewhere around inside, in her soul. Where it really counted, he'd reached her and it'd been so long since anyone had been there. Roderich used to be so passionate in the beginning, she shouldn't place all the blame on him and realistically she couldn't. She was just as to blame for the great drought of passion in their marriage. Her stubbornness to compromise, her temper, her yearnings for more than he was able to give.

But what she wanted and needed, what she refused to give up paled in comparison to the great load of lies her husband had fed her, paled in comparison to what he'd taken from her and what she had allowed. It'd been obvious there was something there, lurking in Gilbert's eyes all those years ago. It was just that Roderich had gone after her so smoothly so lovingly that she had been breathless.

But she'd been a child then. A girl of seventeen who doubted everything about herself who never thought, in a million years that the older boy she'd grown up with would ever look at her that way. And Roderich had been so good, so calm and safe...

Her green eyes open a slit. Gilbert has stopped kissing her and when the bleariness of her eyes leaves, she sees him above her, bare arms at the sides of her head, careful of her hair. His face is serious and pale in the yellow lamp light, and his rosy colored eyes rake over her face. He's memorizing her with _slow deliberate machinations_-suddenly he grins and his hands find purchase on her sides.

She laughs, it hurts to laugh this hard and she's sure whatever neighbors he has outside can hear laughing. God...she hasn't laughed like this in a long time. Not since a year back when Roderich had been trying to be more at ease, to please her. He'd taken her to the petting zoo, of all places and he been attacked by a sheep. It had been the most they'd laughed together, because usually Roderich would have been cross and angry. Wouldn't have ever been caught dead with animals at all-

Gilbert lays fully on her, arms around her tight as he buries his head at the crook of her neck and shoulder, inhaling her scent mingled with his. Her hands bury in his hair, tangled in the thick strands.

"Gilbert?"

"I just wanted to hear you laugh." He says in a deep and sleep voice muffled by his lips against her heated skin. "I haven't heard you laugh so hard in so long. I didn't think..." He sighs. "I didn't think I could ever miss someone laughing."

She shuts her eyes tightly, her brows furrow as she fights the onslaught of tears. She doesn't know if she ever missed the sound of Gilbert's laughter or if she ever thought of him beyond who he was when they were apart, without the jealousy that followed because she'd been under the impression he continued to be with many women. Like before.

"I...I missed laughing like that." She says honestly. "I really really like laughing almost as much as kissing."

She feels him smile against her neck.

"No. Really." She says. "I don't think I've ever just been kissed softly in a long time not since being with you."

Roderich's kisses were always brief and felt scheduled Kiss in the morning, kiss before work, kiss when you come home, kiss just before bed. Roderich never kissed her just because.

Gilbert doesn't say anything, he laughs a little shaking against her before kissing his way back up to her face and lips. It's firm, a little chapped and lingering. His hands come up to her face and he holds here to him, solidly. He wont let her go, it seems and Elizabeta can't find it in herself to mind, that the control he now exuded on her didn't matter. Because Gilbert only went as far as she allowed, only did what he was certain she would like.

Their eyes open slowly at the same time, lock together and shut as they kiss again, more passionately this time. Deeply.

They spend the rest of the day in bed, leaving only for food, toilet and a shower. Each time they return to it, it is like this. Kisses that linger in the heart and mean so much more than either have ever had.

I love you lingers between them but both are weary of saying it first.

* * *

_**~.~**_

"She is there, isn't she?"

Ludwig jolts with a start. He'd been dozing on the bench swing on his porch, it seemed mere moments ago he was with Feli and the girls. He looks at the man seated beside him, deep deep burgundy hair and violet eyes behind fashionable glasses peer at him.

Roderich looks much the same, even with the same annoying cowlick, and Ludwig can't find it in himself to be even a little surprised that his cousin is here.

"What do you want me to say?"

Roderich shrugs, his eyes rake over the front yard at Ludwig and Feli's blond daughters, Greta (6) with her pigtails, Lorena (5) dressed in a brightly colored orange jumper and Elen (3) toddling after them, her hair curly like he mother's. "I always wanted children."

"You and Elizabeta have none?" Ludwig asks although, he already knows this answer. "Shame."

"You are angry at me." Roderich says without a shadow of a doubt. "You have every right to tell me to go to hell."

"Fine. Then go to hell."

"I'm in it, if you can believe." Roderich answers with the same smooth melodious voice he's always had.

"Pity." Ludwig is certain that he has more to say, that he isn't the same monosyllabic caveman he used to be when he was a kid, but Roderich sitting beside him after so long after all of the lies. It's too much. "You ask me if she is here? She isn't here you can check my house."

"I know. Feli would have said she was here before shutting the door in my face-is it wrong that I only feel guilty towards your wife for lying?"

"I wouldn't imagine so. You took care of her for a short while when we were kids. I think that she thought better of you and when you started what ever the hell it is you started. Well, she was left understandably disappointed."

Roderich hums, nods and allows his eyes to wander. The neighborhood is nice with houses that look mostly the same, two stories with large picture windows and matching round about driveways. "She isn't at her grandmother's place. I checked."

"And did Mrs. Hedavary slam the door in your face?"

"No." Roderich answered with a small sad laugh. "She invited me for tea. As though it were perfectly normal for her grand daughters jailer to be in her home."

Ludwig fights a smile off, proud of the old woman who seemed stronger than anyone he'd ever known, to forgive someone who'd so blatantly lied about everything.

He is now looking more forward to his visit with Mrs. Hedavary. The gilrs have been anxious to see her too.

"Where else have you tried? Ivan's, Antonio's? Or did you try Kiku? Did you scour the entire town, every house every alleyway ever business until you finally reached my house?"

"No. I came here straight after her grandmother's house." Roderich whispered. "She's with Gilbert isn't she?"

"I don't know. She was when I saw her. Why? Does it make you nervous?"

"You know how I feel."

"That absolves nothing!" Ludwig stands from the swing and stretches. He feels suddenly anxious. "You get what you deserve."

He calls the girls inside and slams the door on his cousin with no feelings of regret. He feels light, all that anger and rafe building up inside of him at the mere insistence that Roderich's feeling actually mattered after all this time? Pah! He could feel guilt later. After he gets over wanting to hit someone in the face.

Roderich sits on the swing and wonders how long it will take him to reach Gilbert's house, how long it will take him to fix what he had done.

He remembers his meeting with Elizabeta's grandmother and wonders how he could have lied to a woman so kindly?

He stands up and walks down the porch steps towards his Mercedes intent on apologizing and getting his wife back before anything truly traitorous occurs. As he drives off down the road he reminds himself that he knows Gilbert, and that his older cousin would rather wallow away to nothing before ever betraying him.

Right?

* * *

**_~.~_**

**_Muse: Oh? An update at last? Sorry it was short and a little...late but this is the hardest story I'm writing. I hope you liked it. No flames please._**


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